And something in me went over.
Because I had already decided that if he wanted his ex-wife at the centre of his birthday, then the pair of them could have a surprise.
So when the pudding went out, I put a cream envelope down beside every plate.
Fourteen guests. One for her. One for him.
She opened hers first and her face went.
He tore his and stopped moving entirely.
And then he was on his feet, scarlet, shouting in front of everybody.
“Have you lost your mind?”
And she did not even look at him.
She was staring at the page in her hands.
“Des,” she said. “Why does it say we’re still married?”
What was in the envelopes.
A certified copy of a decree nisi dated the eleventh of June, 2019, and a sealed court search dated the sixth of October, 2025, confirming that no final order had ever been applied for.
