PART 15
Terrence became part of our lives again.
He visited every few months.
Maya adored him.
He taught her card games.
He told embarrassing stories about me as a kid.
Danielle liked him because he never pretended our family history was prettier than it was.
One evening, Terrence and I sat outside after everyone went to bed.
He handed me a beer.
“Do you ever think about calling her?”
I knew exactly who he meant.
“No.”
“Me neither.”
We sat quietly.
Then I asked.
“Did you ever feel guilty?”
“For leaving?”
“Yes.”
“Every day for years.”
He looked toward the house.
“Then I realized Mom trained us to think boundaries were punishment.”
“That if we said no, we were hurting her.”
“That if we left, we were abandoning her.”
“That if we kept anything for ourselves, we were selfish.”
I stared at the bottle in my hand.
“She did that to Danielle too.”
“Of course.”
“She used the same system.”
Terrence nodded.
“People repeat what works.”
That sentence stayed with me.
Loretta had not invented a new way to control my wife.
She used the same method she had used on us.
Guilt.
Fear.
Money.
Silence.
Isolation.
The difference was that Danielle had no childhood training to call it love.
She knew something was wrong.
I was the one who kept translating abuse into family loyalty.
I never did that again.
