I wanted to tell.
Then, during his second year, he wrote about a girl named Margaret. She was studying nursing.
He said she was funny, challenged him, and he thought I’d like her.
That’s when I finally understood something I should’ve known years earlier.
I went on dates.
I was in love with Jeffrey.
I sat on my bedroom floor
with his letter in my lap and cried because I’d waited too long to understand my own feelings.
That night, I started writing to him. I got several pages in.
I told him I loved him and thought I always had.
Then I tore it up.
I started writing to him.
If he were happy, I didn’t want to ruin it. So I kept being his friend for a while.
***
In the summer of 1986, a final letter arrived.
I knew something was wrong before I opened it. Jeffrey’s letters
usually started with a joke.
