“That makes no sense.”
Richard looked at me.
” If. ”
He slipped his hand into his jacket and pulled out an old photograph.
He placed it on the table.
I lowered my eyes.
Two young women were standing side by side.
One of them was Vivian.
The other —
I stopped breathing.
She had my eyes.
My nose.
My smile.
My exact expression.
I had seen that face before.
In the mirror.
My hands began to tremble.
“Her name was Elaine,” Vivian whispered.
I touched the photograph.
“Why didn’t Dad tell me?”
“He didn’t know everything.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
Vivian looked at me.
“Because Elaine died when you were two years old.”
I stared at her.
“What happened?”
“She was ill.”
Richard lowered his head.
“She had no one.”
Vivian continued.
“I took you in.”
“Did you adopt me?”
” No. “
His answer came too quickly.
“You were never officially adopted.”
I looked at her.
” What ? “
“Your mother left instructions stating that William was your father.”
I shook my head.
“It’s impossible.”
Richard said softly:
“Elaine had been with William before he met Vivian.”
I stared at him.
” What ? “
Richard nodded.
“William knew Elaine.”
My mind raced.
Suddenly, the photographs in Dad’s office took on their full meaning.
The dates.
The letters.
The strange tenderness in her writing.
He hadn’t observed me from a distance because he felt guilty.
He had been observing me because I was his daughter.
Biologically.
Completely.
But there was something else.
“So why did Vivian marry him?”
Richard replied.
“Because Elaine was dying.”
Vivian wiped away her tears.
“Elaine asked me to protect you.”
I looked at her.
“And you did it?”
She was unable to answer.
I laugh softly.
“You were supposed to protect me.”
“I tried.”
“You spent eighteen years trying to convince me
that Dad didn’t love me.”
“I was angry.”
“Against me?”
“Against Elaine.”
“She is dead.”
” I know. “
“So you punished me for something she did?”
Vivian looked away.
I felt something inside me finally break.
Not in a painful way. In a liberating way.
All these years.
Every birthday.
Every Christmas.
Every dinner where I sat on the edge of the table.
