My son walked in on graduation night wearing a huge red dress. “Liam, what have you done?” I whispered in horror. He just smiled, his eyes full of tears. “Mom, I told you I’d show you why I’ve been gone so much.” He then turned to the door, and the person who walked in next explained everything…

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So, I built a fortress around us. Just the two of us, figuring life out one day at a time, surviving on cheap coffee, overtime shifts, and a fierce, terrifying love.

I loved Liam with a ferocity that sometimes scared me. But beneath that love, a river of anxiety always ran cold and deep. I worried constantly. I worried that our small life wasn’t enough. I was plagued by the thought that I wasn’t enough. Every time he looked at a father playing catch with his son in the park, every time he asked a question about shaving or cars that I couldn’t quite answer, I felt the sharp sting of my own inadequacy.

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