The fog has a specific quality.
It is the fog of someone who loves a person who is doing them harm, which is different from the fog of someone who does not notice.
I noticed.
I told myself I was misinterpreting.
I told myself he meant something different.
I told myself that the difficulties were the standard difficulties of two people building a life together.
I told myself this for nine years.
Meanwhile, every paycheck, I moved half into savings.
Not out of disagreement.
Out of the specific instinct of a person who grew up without much and who understood that money in an account was a different thing from money in a wallet.
The account was for the house.
The house with the big yard.
We were going to buy it when I turned forty.
I turned forty in a rental.
The account was empty.
The bank said I had withdrawn it.
