PART 3 — THE CHILD I NEVER KNEW ABOUT
I spent the night at a hotel instead of driving home.
I couldn’t face my house.
Not yet.
Every room contained Carol.
Her books.
Her photographs.
Her perfume.
The little ceramic bird she always kept beside the kitchen window.
For thirty-six years, I had believed those things represented my marriage.
Now they felt like pieces of a puzzle someone else had assembled around me.
The next morning, I returned to Anna’s house.
She was waiting for me.
“I knew you’d come back.”
I sat across from her.
“There has to be more.”
Anna nodded.
“There is.”
She took a deep breath.
“When Carol first came to me, she wasn’t alone.”
My heart stopped.
“Who was with her?”
“A baby.”
I stared at her.
“What baby?”
Anna’s eyes filled with tears.
“Your daughter.”
I couldn’t speak.
Anna continued.
“She was only a few months old.”
I stood abruptly.
“No.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No. Carol and I didn’t have a daughter.”
“You did.”
“Carol and I never had children.”
Anna’s voice became softer.
“That’s what she wanted you to believe.”
I sat down again.
My hands were shaking.
“Where is she?”
Anna looked at me for several seconds.
“Her name is Emily.”
The name hit me like a blow.
“Emily?”
“She is forty years old now.”
I couldn’t process it.
“Who is her mother?”
Anna stared directly into my eyes.
“Me.”
Everything went silent.
I whispered:
“What?”
Anna began crying.
“I gave birth to her.”
I shook my head.
“This is impossible.”
“No.”
“You said Carol brought a baby to you.”
“She did.”
“Why?”
Anna wiped her eyes.
“Because Carol told me the baby was yours.”
I couldn’t breathe.
“Mine?”
“Yes.”
“How?”
Anna looked at the floor.
“She told me she had been with you before you left town.”
My mind raced backward.
Thirty-seven years.
The dates.
The months.
The year Carol and I met.
The year we supposedly started dating.
Something suddenly didn’t add up.
I looked at Anna.
“You’re saying Emily is my daughter?”
“Yes.”
“And you raised her?”
“No.”
Anna’s voice broke.
“I couldn’t.”
“Why?”
“Because Carol gave me a choice.”
“What choice?”
“She told me that if I wanted my daughter to have a stable life, I had to disappear.”
I felt dizzy.
“What did she do?”
“She arranged for Emily to be adopted.”
My mouth went dry.
“By whom?”
Anna hesitated.
“By people Carol knew.”
I stood.
“Where is Emily now?”
Anna opened her mouth.
Before she could answer, there was a knock at the door.
Both of us froze.
Anna looked toward the hallway.
Then the door opened.
A woman around forty walked inside.
She had dark hair streaked with gray.
Her eyes were familiar.
Too familiar.
She looked at me.
I looked at her.
And somehow, without anyone saying a word, I knew.
She whispered:
“Dad?”
My knees nearly gave out.
