and called out,
“Come to bed soon tonight. Let’s spend a little time together.”
He would answer,
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“I just want to finish this movie.”
If I went into the living room and sat beside him, within a few minutes he would stand up.Rent Apartments
“I’m getting some water.”
“I need to check an email.”
“My back hurts. I think I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.”
One evening, I made a special effort.
I had bought a new nightgown.
I did my hair.
I even wore the perfume Robert had loved on me when we were younger.
When he walked into the bedroom, he looked at me for only a few seconds.
I smiled.
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“The kids have had homes of their own for years. Tomorrow is Saturday. You don’t have any reason to rush off to sleep tonight.”
He wouldn’t even look me in the
eyes.
“Linda, please. I’m exhausted tonight.”
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I pretended it didn’t hurt.
But when he turned his back to me, I lay there staring at him for a long time.
That was the first night I allowed myself to think the words I had been trying so hard to avoid.
Maybe he simply doesn’t want me anymore.
The following week, I even suggested that we spend a night at a hotel.
“Just one night. You and me. Like we used to.”
Robert laughed.
“A hotel? At our age?”
Those words stayed in my mind.
At our age.
After that, I began looking at myself in the mirror more closely.
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My wrinkles.
My body.
The gray strands appearing in my hair.
I kept telling myself that all of it was normal.
But deep inside, I was beginning to feel embarrassed by myself.
There were
even times when I thought perhaps I should stop trying to get close to him altogether.
And that was exactly when Robert’s behavior became even stranger.
