“Dad?”
I dropped to my knees.
One second I was standing in the hallway staring at her, and the next I had her in my arms.
She felt frighteningly light against my chest.
Not like a kid who had missed lunch because she was busy playing.
Not like a child who had stayed up too late one night.
There was a weakness in the way she leaned against me that made every thought in my head collapse into one urgent question.
How long had this been happening?
“I’m here,” I whispered, holding her close. “I’m right here.”
Lily lifted one hand and touched my face.
Her fingers moved slowly over my cheek as if she needed proof that I was actually standing there.
“I thought…”
Her voice cracked.
She stopped and swallowed.
“I thought maybe you forgot us.”
Those words hit harder than anything else could have.
I had spent two weeks thinking about how much I missed my kids.
Lily had apparently spent at least part of that time wondering whether I was ever coming back.
“Never,” I told her. “I would never forget you.”
I wanted to keep holding her.
I wanted the simple act of coming home to be enough to fix whatever had gone wrong.
But Tommy was still on the floor beside us.
I looked down at him, and the reunion I had imagined during the entire trip disappeared completely.
This was not a homecoming anymore.
My children had not simply been waiting for me.
They had been trying to protect each other.
I carefully moved Lily to the couch and made sure she was settled before I went back for Tommy.
When I lifted him, his body barely moved against mine.
His breathing was weak.
I held him close while looking back at Lily, trying to keep my face steady because I could already see how closely she was watching me.
She had spent too much time being the brave one.
I did not want her to feel that she had to manage my fear too.
“Lily,” I said, “what happened?”
Her eyes dropped immediately.
That reaction frightened me almost as much as the scene in the hallway.
She did not look confused by the question.
She looked afraid of answering it.
For several seconds, she said nothing.
