Three months after canc*r took my husband, my twelve-year-old locked herself in the bathroom and cut off all her hair — to have it made into a wig for a girl in her class who’d been laughed at for losing hers.
The next morning the principal called. “You need to see this with your own eyes.” I opened his office door and found eleven girls sitting in a row, every one of them shorn, ponytails tied with ribbon in their laps — and in the last chair, a girl with no hair at all, holding the longest one.
Chapter 1: The Sound of Scissors Through a Door
Only three months had passed since canc*r took my husband.
My name is Corinne Dunlap, and our daughter, Saffy, was heartbroken.
She had always been a daddy’s girl.
I want to describe the three months before the bathroom, because a child does not do what Saffy did out of general kindness. She did it out of something much more specific, and it had a date on it.
Desmond was sick for fourteen months.
He was a heating and cooling technician, forty-three years old, and he did the whole of it the way he did everything, which was quietly and with an unbearable amount of consideration for other people.
And in month nine he lost his hair.
He handled it the way men do, which is to say badly and with jokes, and there was a week where he wore a knit cap in the house in August because Saffy was home and he had not yet worked out how to let her see him.
Then one Saturday he asked me to shave the rest.
In the bathroom. The same bathroom.
And he asked Saffy to hold the mirror.
I fought him about that — I said she’s eleven, Des, she doesn’t need to be in here — and my husband said the sentence that explains everything our daughter did four months later.
“Corinne, she’s going to be in here for something someday. I’d rather her first one be with me and I’d rather I be smiling.”
She held the mirror.